Profit/Loss Reports

I have been missing in action on my blog for quite a few weeks....for a number of reasons I assume. Lack of anything funny to share, lots of fears and anxieties to share, complaints about the economy and it's effects on my small business. I also realized that this is like my own personal journal.....it's o.k. to share fears since I do trust that those of you that read this do so because you are a relative or friend.

Mondays are always my day in my office....it is when I get the blessed privilege to see just how much it sucks to be in business right now. Today was nothing different. I arrived early this morning long before we opened with no makeup on, a dark store and a reminder that the snow on the ground means slower business. I looked outside to see the snowplowed parking lot that I pay for, and a sidewalk that was icy and needed some salt sprinkled on it. I ignored it ticked that my landlord makes me pay for the snow removal. My office gave me some sollice as I turned on my little light in there, attached Eric's Ipod and listened to my music of choice right now. I started in with listening to messages from the weekend, checking emails and logged onto facebook. I knew I had to tackle the pile of bills and such that I had let stack up in my box on my desk. I also know that there are major decisions that will be decided between my self and the owners of the building this week that will determine whether or not Flarah's exists anymore. I cried as I logged our deposits into quickbooks, I cried as I ran our profit and loss and compared last year to this year, I cried as I thought of what that person that wants nothing more than for me to fail would say to people, I cried at the fear of what will I do for a job, I cried at how we will make it on a teacher's salary, I cried because if my mom asks me one more time how the store is doing, or is Eric o.k. with having to pick up a second job I am going to scream, I cried the hardest at the thought that I might not be able to do what I LOVE doing. It's 12:30 now and I have cut checks for upwards of twenty thousand dollars, I have taken more orders, I have poured over our profit and loss statements and I decided that I might cry more today so no sense in putting makeup on. It is slow like I predicted...now what?

So I have decided that we all should look our life like a profit and loss statement. It is the end of another year.....I know that amidst the horrible numbers that play out in business ownership right now that my profit in my personal and spiritual life if way up from last year. I should be thankful for that and rejoice....why can't I? Why do I look at the mirror right now and feel that I look as though I have aged sooo much this year. Why can't I find the sollice to be ok.....I have so much "wealth" in my life right now but am sooo scared of what the future holds.....with that I am logging out of quickbooks....enough for today.

e

Bad Wallpaper, a steamer & Victory

So I know it's been a few days since I have ventured back to sharing my thoughts....there just hasn't been much going on that is worth sharing I guess.

I love our house....built in the the 60's it screams very traditional until you come inside and see our corrugated steel, amazing tile, fun colors and our metal garage door that holds all my cookbooks behind it in our kitchen. If you had seen it when we moved in a few months ago before the demolition you would have thought we were crazy. With Thanksgiving looming in a few weeks and EVD's family coming to dinner we are on that time crunch to get a few more things done. So last week as we painted the hallway upstairs and the stairwell I also started the task of taking down the most hideous mauve and country blue wallpaper in our little bathroom on the main floor. Eric came in to lend me a hand and the section he chose above the shower came off backing and all with no problem. Of course the section that I chose was above the sink where I guess NO steam had ever hit it. So with Dif in hand and the scraper I set in. Not much success as it has sat there for the last week and everyday I walk by thinking..."today I will do it....ya right" So after being a shut-in yesterday due to the cold weather, I decided today was the day. My friend who is like Tim the Tool man suggested I use the handy steamer that we had bought for the store a few years ago that was collecting dust in our basement. I hauled this contraption upstairs wondering how in the world it worked. I guess maybe I don't give myself too much credit on house repair things, but i managed to figure it out. It was amazing that the wallpaper was coming off beautifully with that steamer. I almost thought if the food industry goes south, I could just carry this steamer in my Honda ridding houses of really bad wallpaper. I am afraid my outspoken outbursts about bad decorating wouldn't go over so well with some customers...I'll stick to food. So all was going good until I got to the point where the hose wasn't long enough to hit the pieces above the mirror and closer to the ceiling. Let me back up a little.....for some reason this steamer releases alot of water out the bottom of it when it is in full force so I have a small lake on the bathroom floor. Addison kindly had gotten me towels so at least I wouldn't fall into the boiling water. I am very determined to finish this project and be victorious over the nasty wallpaper. I came up with a brilliant idea to put the steamer on the counter. This way the water that leaks can leak into the sink and the hose will easily hit the remainder of the wallpaper. I am sure if you could see this, you would all think what in the heck is she thinking. The steamer takes up 3/4's of the counter with the remaining 1/4 being the sink....I am supposed to straddle this steamer and the pole that is the nice accessory to hang the hose from. I refill the water and wait for it to start steaming and I climb carefully on to the sink more concerned about falling off onto a wet floor, hitting my head on the way down and my children having to call 911 instead of being concerned about the lock and unlock pictures on the steamer. After practically giving myself a facial, I decide to try to reach the far corner with the hose. Let's just say I now know what the lock and unlock pictures are all about. The hose obviously doesn't reach that far nor do I. The hose flies out of the steamer shooting hot boiling water all over myself and the bathroom. I grab the pole (I have decided that if ever hard up for money a job that involved a pole wouldn't be the best for me) and manage to cling to this flimsy metal thing trying not to break it all the while my one foot is in the sink with more HOT water being released onto it. I manage to get it all under control before it falls to the floor with me on it. SO after this long rambling....yes....all the wallpaper is off and tonite just a little more backing needs to be released via the steamer, but Eric will be reaching that one. I did learn one thing....look at pictures that are on things...like the lock and unlock picture. I guarantee that would have locked that hose in place. However, it looks fabulous and the color swatches are taped to the wall waiting to be approved or not approved. But goodness, my face looks awesome after that facial....who needs a spa. Happy Monday!

An attitude check and a reminder to trust!

So my Monday morning started out good...i mean i was out the door coffee in tow and on my way to pick up my order at Sam's club by 7:15. I mentally was preparing myself for another day in my store, with things so uncertain right now there are days when I struggle to stay positive! I managed to get to Sams only to realize that there were about 10 items missing from the order that we really needed which meant another trip back to get them. I will admit, my attitude started to go south really quickly. An extreme feeling of being overwhelmed and defeat....i mean what we have to do right now to save a penny. In the back of my mind I wondered if I would hear some answers today about my business that has been weighing so heavily on my shoulders. Mondays are usually my days to work in my office and I wanted nothing more than to not have to face my "in" pile today. In my eight years of doing this I have never felt quite like I felt this morning. SO as I was driving to Sams for the second time I was talking out loud asking God to show me a clear sign, to send some help in whatever form it may be. I sipped on my latte while I purchased the last few items and headed back to the store to start my day for a second time. I was not back in my office for more than a few minutes when one of my employees came in and asked to talk with me. I am thinking...great he is quitting and he is one of my favorites. Instead he proceeded to share with me that his mom who worked for my accountant wasn't working there anymore and that she knows how overwhelmed I have been and wanted to help me out "free" of charge. That never happens to me. Running a business there is always a "fee" for everything. The tears streamed down my face.....God really answered part of my prayer and quickly. If there is anyone who will not judge me on how I have or not done things correctly in Quickbooks world it will be her. What an amazing feeling to physically feel the comfort of the Father reaching down on me at that moment. I have felt the hand of my God more in the last few weeks than in a very long time.....i believe it is because I learned to pray in ways that I never prayed before, that understanding what "prosper" means is so different than our world points out. Trust me....have I had to take an attitude check many days in the past few months...yes....but He will not abandon me....He promises that! Go today and make your Monday a good one!

My heart as a mom to a boy....

For some reason this time of year when I know I am about to celebrate Addison's birthday it always makes my eyes get teary. He will be 11 in a few weeks, taller than I, amazing in school, willing to help and my list could go on....but he is a boy and a growing boy. I happened upon a blog tonight of the husband of a friend I grew up with. He had just had a conversation with his daughter who is much younger than Addison about sex. He had also shared about his young heart and life and the struggles that boys and men face. My heart ached....I know there have always been struggles out there no matter if it was twenty five years ago or now. He talked about his exposure to things at a very young age, and that his "christian school and church" involvment was just a "cover" for the intense temptations. I want my son to choose wisely, I pleaded tonight that his mind and heart will be protected and that we will be used to mold that wisely. This may have made no sense....just a rambling from me...the mom to a pre-teen boy who is on her knees asking to be interceded for.

a teary eyed....little e

Thankful for what.....

So I decided as I sit in my office all by myself right now waiting to close the store for the day that I have spent most of my day grumbling about something, worrying about things way too much that are far beyond my control. I couldn't control how many green coupons came through our door today, I couldn't control that the two ladies at table 2 were in such bad moods and decided not to use their manners for anything, I couldn't control that I paid 55 dollars for a case of trash bags and wanted to strangle the sales guy. These are all things that I allowed to create my horrible day as I referred to it when my husband called.
So with that being said, I am not going to end my day in misery (even thought I want to really bad)so I have listed out ten things that I am thankful for today. I need to remember to not let those other things overtake me....because ultimately I lose. What are you thankful for?

1. Grace

2. My latte that my husband brought me this morning

3. Cassie and Brenda...two clients that didn't use green coupons and come in all the time.

4. Addison, Ivee and Jayla....I prayed they would have a fruitful day.

5. My staff...they know how much stress I am under and still hang with me.

6. The really pretty red leaf that was on the front of my car this afternoon.

7. My MAC lipstick....materialistic I know, but I am still thankful for it...i love that stuff.

8. My health

9. That my grandma is still alive and was here to see Flarahs be...oh my grandpa would have loved it.

10. That I close my eyes tonight secure that tomorrow is already decided for me....by my creator.

little e

Listen to your kids.....

So it's a typical Wednesday morning trying to get three kids out the door to school. I arose early enough to switch laundry out before getting Ivee up to shower. Things were going so very smoothly as I got Ivee all bathed and climbed in to shower myself. Not realizing I was out of shaving lotion, I had to do the slowly step out of the shower as to not slip and fall thing....I found the free razor with lotion on it that I had received as a special "perk" for spending the thousands of dollars I do a week at Sams Club. What a deal. Back to the shower to have the new bottle of shampoo fall directly onto my foot creating a cramping feeling like none other and as I rose my head up I nailed it on the ceramic soap holder that was put in the most awkward spot. All while Ivee is watching her mother try not to totally lose it on what are very minuscule things. She was laughing at me with her two front teeth missing. How sweet. The morning progresses as Addison manages to get out of bed walking around like what I am told pre-teen boys do...kinda in the clouds. He showers and then insists that we all leave one of the three bathrooms in the house so he can construct his hair...since he did ask a girl out last night. WOW! All while sweet little Jayla is helping me put laundry down our laundry shoot to three floors below. Ivee joins in to help as well and at one point I am certain that Jayla was so far in that cabinet that she could have just gone down the shoot as well.....except we had clogged it. No laundry going three flights down anymore. By now it is 7:45 and this type "A" mom likes to leave the house no later than 8...I think that Addison could tell I was getting frustrated...I had no makeup on, the girls had not been fed, I had laundry stuck between three floors of our house. I go downstairs to try to see if I can see it stuck....only wishing I was tall enough to stick some sort of pole up to try to get it down....remember I am four feet 10....even with a pole...no luck. I go back up three flights of stairs and try to push it down myself....no luck again. All while the dog is puking all over the house. At just the point when I am literally exhausted my dear son comes parading up the stairs with his hair all constructed carrying the swifter pole....exact words out of his mouth..."Mom...you know never give up." It was all I could do at that moment to not cry...my son not even knowing the agony inside my own self was there as a bright light. Even though we didn't get the clothes unclogged we knew we had given it our all.....and I needed to get them to school. As we climbed into the car I spilled coffee on my cell phone and once again was frustrated only to hear from the back seat, Ivee saying...it all started with the shaving lotion didn't it mom. If nothing else, I hope I have instilled in my kids to do their best and not give up...but if you have to abandon a situation like me leaving the laundry in the shoot to get to school on time which is more important...you must realize that you still succeeded. ..listen to your kids today...they might actually be exactly what you need to hear.

Virgin Blogger....great talker!

So yes....I am a virgin blogger but for those who might be reading this and know me I can talk! I will say since I am so much wiser and older now talking is more controlled.....*grin*.
In order for you to understand what I write you must know about me, my husband and our great kids.
I am Erin otherwise referred to as "little e"...married to my highschool boyfriend that I dumped after he wanted to buy me a shirt from the Limited. I guess at the time I thought that was a little "too" serious. Now I welcome those shirts and I lave learned to love the extremely sensitive side that BIG E is. I own a restaurant and cheesecake bakery where I have spent the last five years laboring over. The only way I can describe this venture is to compare it to childbirth where it is extremely painful, yet rewarding. I am outgoing and love social settings, I color my hair as I have way more grey than a woman my age should. I love to cook and read cookbooks, I love to laugh. I love my blessed life!
Eric otherwise referred to as "Big E"...the one who bought me that shirt from the limited. I still imagine that box laying on his nightstand waiting to be given to me as I told him that we just couldn't see eachother anymore. I wonder if he ever took it back. "E" teaches elementary, has tattoos on both arms of what has been his journey in faith, loves music, is an amazing musician, has more shoes than I do, cries way before I do, brings me coffee every single morning before my feet even hit the floor. He is an amazing father and husband.
Addison...our 11year old. What can I say....he is 11, taller than I by three inches, uses more hair products than I do, has great manners, loves to learn, loves his mom, eager to help his sisters, makes us laugh, understands his faith and is going to probably run some company as he is extremely organized and type "A".
Ivee is our 6 1/2 year old. Spitten image of her mom, sassy, silly, loving and all girl. She loves to be the older sister to Jayla showing her the ways of "everything". Talk to me in a few years when they are both teenagers.
Jayla is our petite little 4 year old that does her best to keep up with her older siblings. She loves to color, play with Ivee, knows how to talk Addison into carrying her on his back and feels secure in his love for her.
Our life is beautiful....not without struggles but that is called life and it is character building. I love how God has created Eric, Addison, Ivee and Jayla. In our kitchen sits a candy jar.....we all put our own candy that represents us into it:
BIG E: Gummy Bears, he is at the core very squeezable and a comforting.
little e: Jelly Belly's, I guess I love the tangy flavor they all have and how mixing flavors is even better.
Addison: Skittles, tried and true in the red bag....he doesn't vere from the original.
Ivee: M&M's, lover of chocolate and food in general...she might not melt in your hands, but her smile and sweetness could melt any chocolate.
Jayla: Smarty's, a reference to her petite stature and quiet voice. Tangy and sweet all in the same package. Wrapped tightly by Addison and Ivee that help watch out for her.

May you look at your families today and realize what your candy jar is full of....it will be a sweet reminder of our creator and how we are all made just the way we were intended to be.