Profit/Loss Reports

I have been missing in action on my blog for quite a few weeks....for a number of reasons I assume. Lack of anything funny to share, lots of fears and anxieties to share, complaints about the economy and it's effects on my small business. I also realized that this is like my own personal journal.....it's o.k. to share fears since I do trust that those of you that read this do so because you are a relative or friend.

Mondays are always my day in my office....it is when I get the blessed privilege to see just how much it sucks to be in business right now. Today was nothing different. I arrived early this morning long before we opened with no makeup on, a dark store and a reminder that the snow on the ground means slower business. I looked outside to see the snowplowed parking lot that I pay for, and a sidewalk that was icy and needed some salt sprinkled on it. I ignored it ticked that my landlord makes me pay for the snow removal. My office gave me some sollice as I turned on my little light in there, attached Eric's Ipod and listened to my music of choice right now. I started in with listening to messages from the weekend, checking emails and logged onto facebook. I knew I had to tackle the pile of bills and such that I had let stack up in my box on my desk. I also know that there are major decisions that will be decided between my self and the owners of the building this week that will determine whether or not Flarah's exists anymore. I cried as I logged our deposits into quickbooks, I cried as I ran our profit and loss and compared last year to this year, I cried as I thought of what that person that wants nothing more than for me to fail would say to people, I cried at the fear of what will I do for a job, I cried at how we will make it on a teacher's salary, I cried because if my mom asks me one more time how the store is doing, or is Eric o.k. with having to pick up a second job I am going to scream, I cried the hardest at the thought that I might not be able to do what I LOVE doing. It's 12:30 now and I have cut checks for upwards of twenty thousand dollars, I have taken more orders, I have poured over our profit and loss statements and I decided that I might cry more today so no sense in putting makeup on. It is slow like I predicted...now what?

So I have decided that we all should look our life like a profit and loss statement. It is the end of another year.....I know that amidst the horrible numbers that play out in business ownership right now that my profit in my personal and spiritual life if way up from last year. I should be thankful for that and rejoice....why can't I? Why do I look at the mirror right now and feel that I look as though I have aged sooo much this year. Why can't I find the sollice to be ok.....I have so much "wealth" in my life right now but am sooo scared of what the future holds.....with that I am logging out of quickbooks....enough for today.

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